I heard a lot of grumblings that no one liked the 83rd Oscar telecast. ¬†See, I come from a different perspective on that. ¬†I actually like it when it’s bad. ¬†I like it when it chunders on and on and lasts all night. I like it when they accept that they will never be cool and just embrace their uncoolness. ¬†I’m so about the Rob Lowe/Snow White dance number. ¬†If the Oscars aren’t unhip, what hope do we have for a streaker moment again? ¬†All of the talk about lesbians and nudity – James Franco’s altogether outlined in a unitard, James Franco in drag, James Franco staring blankly at the camera as if to say: What in god’s name have I gotten myself into?
Oh, James. ¬†One hot young fella cannot do it all. ¬†Writer, actor, student, OSCAR HOST? ¬†No. Just no.
But Anne Hathaway? ¬†That girl was born to do this. ¬†I started seeing her in Cabaret. ¬†I could see her as co-host to Billy Crystal. ¬†She is a musical/comedy star cum Oscar host if there ever was one. ¬†She gets my vote. ¬†Thumbs up, Anne.
I have to confess I didn’t watch much of it – being about to throw up every time The Social Network lost another award and all — funny story: I was putting in laundry for my daughter when they were giving out Best Director. ¬†I couldn’t be in the room, I told her. ¬†So I’m going downstairs — call out my name if Fincher wins. ¬†I went downstairs in the cold. ¬†Quiet. ¬†Nothing. ¬†Someone opening a door? No. ¬†Nothing. ¬†More quiet. ¬†I put the laundry in the washer, placed the quarters in the slot, slid that sucker through. ¬†Still nothing. ¬†I walked back upstairs to see Tom Hooper accepting the award.
“Fincher didn’t win,” she told me glumly. ¬†No kidding.
So anyway, where were we? ¬†Oh yes, the SHOW! ¬†What happened anyway? I have a memory blur of Gwyneth Paltrow, Randy Newman and … Melissa Leo actually winning an Oscar. ¬†Good for her! ¬†So she says “fuck” on TV. ¬†Good for her! ¬†Both Leo and Bale winning were high points, I thought. ¬†And who can deny Colin Firth and David Seidler their wins? ¬†I never bought the Annette Bening thing so I wasn’t surprised to see sweet little Natalie (who still reminds me of Sue Lyon at the end of the Lolita all blown up like that) winning. ¬†Well deserved.
Anne Thompson tweeted that she’d bet Darren Aronofsky $20 that Natalie wouldn’t win. ¬†She said it was time to pay up.
Billy Crystal did show up, botox and all (honey, trust me, you’re better without). ¬†And yes, Nathaniel Rogers was right when he said there would be no cut-aways of Nicole Kidman singing Katy Perry songs.
Wasn’t there a lot of top hats, white ties and tales? ¬†There was as much as a reach-around to the Oscars of old as there was a clumsy attempt to update themselves to the modern era. ¬†Don’t worry, Academy, we like you just the way you are. ¬†Don’t go changing to try to please us.
All in all, there was nothing to complain about except, well, everything. ¬†Another Oscar telecast in the can. ¬†And we know it was all about ratings, hopefully, to keep the mill turning the grain. ¬†And according to Adweek:
Combined with the Oscar Red Carpet Special from 7-8:30 p.m. (13.2/22), ABC more than doubled the competing networks combined. While it did slip by 7 percent from one year earlier (27.5/42 on March 7, 2010), the year of The King‚Äôs Speech was an improvement from both 2008 and 2009.
As a benchmark, here is the metered market tracking for The Academy Awards over the last decade (with the Best Film winner in parentheses):
2002: 29.8/46 (A Beautiful Life)
2003: 24.6/36 (Chicago)
2004: 28.7/42 (The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King)
2005: 29.2/42 (Million Dollar Baby)
2006: 26.3/29 (Crash)
2007: 27.0/41 (The Departed)
2008: 20.8/32 (No Country for Old Men)
2009: 23.0/36 (Slumdog Millionaire)
2010: 27.5/42 (The Hurt Locker)
2011: 25.6/39 (The King‚Äôs Speech)
I think that The Social Network, Black Swan and True Grit probably helped ratings quite a bit, Ad Week, dontcha think? ¬†Not to mention the Hath and the Franc.
What did you all think? ¬†Good, bad or ugly?