Whenever people talk about Oscar Nominations Morning, in my head I hear a jeer, a rhyme, a grim homonym: Oscar Nominations Mourning. From December to mid-January I live in a dreamworld. A world where any award is possible. My comfy bubble is left unlocked but there’s a Do Not Disturb sign. Now though, the dreaming is over. Time to face the annual rude awakening. Tomorrow at 5:30am, the door slams shut on a lot of my prettiest pipe dreams — dreams featuring the year’s most precious gems. I’ll see the red carpet yanked out from under the feet of many of my favorites. That nappy rug really tied the room together, but in a few hours I have to watch it unravel. So today’s the day I need to steel myself and prepare to get my heart crushed. That’s painful enough without playing a guessing game I’m doomed to lose. So please don’t look for this list to be very coherent, alright? It’s not meant to be predictions. It’s just a mix of safe expectation, inevitable resignation, stubborn fixation, and stalwart devotion. One last time, I want to imagine what the Oscar nominations could look like if every category had a few happy accidents along with the solid locks. That’s all this wishlist is. Before I feel the stab wounds, after the cut.
Best Picture
12 Years a Slave
Inside Llewyn Davis
The Wolf of Wall Street
Gravity
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Her
American Hustle
Nebraska
Fruitvale Station
alt. Blue Jasmine
stunner: Mud
Best Director
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Spike Jonze, Her
Joel and Ethan Coen, Inside Llewyn Davis
Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street
alt. David O. Russell, American Hustle
stunner: Ryan Coogler, Fruitvale Station
Best Actor
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis
alt. Forest Whitaker, Lee Daniels’ The Butler
stunner: Joaquin Phoenix, Her
Best Actress
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Julie Delpy, Before Midnight
Judi Dench, Philomena
Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks
Brie Larson, Short Term 12
alt. Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
stunner: Adèle Exarchopoulos, Blue is the Warmest Color
Best Supporting Actor
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Daniel Bruhl, Rush
Matthew McConaughey, Mud
alt. Will Forte, Nebraska
stunner. John Goodman, Inside Llewyn Davis
Best Supporting Actress
Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
June Squibb, Nebraska
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Margo Martingdale, August: Osage County
alt. Oprah Winfrey, The Butler
stunner: Scarlett Johansson, Her
Best Original Screenplay
Spike Jonze, Her
Joel and Ethan Coen, Inside Llewyn Davis
David O Russell, American Hustle
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
Cormac McCarthy, The Counselor
alt. Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine
stunner: Brad Ingelsby, Scott Cooper, Out of the Furnace
Best Adapted Screenplay
Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Richard Linklater, Before Midnight
John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
Terrence Winter, The Wolf of Wall Street
James Ponsoldt, The Spectacular Now
Steve Coogan, Philomena
alt. Billy Ray, Captain Phillips
stunner: Destin Cretton, Short Term 12
Best Cinematography
Bruno Delbonnel, Inside Llewyn Davis
Emmanuel Lubezki, Gravity
Sean Bobbit, 12 Years a Slave
Phedon Papamichael, Nebraska
The Grandmaster, Philippe Le Sourd
alt. Roger Deakins, Prisoners
stunner: Luca Bigazzi, The Great Beauty
Best Film Editing
Gravity
12 Years a Slave
American Hustle
Captain Phillips
The Wolf of Wall Street
alt. Nebraska
stunner: Her
Best Animated Feature
Frozen
The Wind Rises
The Croods
Ernest & Celestine
Monsters University
alt. The Congress
stunner: A Letter to Momo
Best Foreign Language Film
The Great Beauty (Italy)
The Broken Circle Breakdown (Belgium)
The Grandmaster (Hong Kong)
The Hunt (Denmark)
Omar (Palestine )
alt. Gloria (Chile)
stunner: A Touch of Sin (China)
Best Documentary
Stories We Tell
The Act of Killing
Blackfish
Cutie and the Boxer
The Square
alt. 20 Feet From Stardom
stunner: Tim’s Vermeer
Best Music (Original Score)
Steven Price, Gravity
Hans Zimmer, 12 Years a Slave
John Williams, The Book Thief
Joe Hisaichi, The Wind Rises
Alexandre Desplat, Philomena
alt. Clint Mansell, Stoker
stunner: Arcade Fire, Her
Best Art Direction
The Great Gatsby
Gravity
American Hustle
12 Years a Slave
Inside Llewyn Davis
alt. The Grandmaster
stunner: Her
Best Costume Design
American Hustle
12 Years a Slave
The Great Gatsby
Blue Jasmine
The Grandmaster
alt. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
stunner: Inside Llewyn Davis
Best Visual Effects
Gravity
Pacific Rim
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Star Trek Into Darkness
World War Z
alt. The Lone Ranger
stunner: Oblivion
Best Sound Mixing
Gravity
Inside Llewyn Davis
All Is Lost
Captain Phillips
Rush
Best Sound Editing
Gravity
All Is Lost
Captain Phillips
Rush
Frozen
Best Makeup
Dallas Buyers Club
American Hustle
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Best Music (Original Song)
Let It Go, Frozen
Young and Beautiful, The Great Gatsby
My Lord Sunshine, 12 Years a Slave
The Moon Song, Her
Happy, Despicable Me 2
Time to wake up.