Following up on Sasha’s post yesterday, re-imagineering Hollywood hotties as females, the New England Genealogical Society did some digging last week and discovered that not only are Clinton and Obama related, but Hillary is a cousin of Madonna, Alanis Morrisette, and Celine Dion. No wonder it took Hillary so long to find her voice. (cue “My Heart Will Go On” …and on …and on.)
Obama, meanwhile, is related to six U.S. Presidents, including Lyndon Johnson, Harry Truman, and James Madison — as well as Robert E. Lee and Winston Churchill.
But I know people complain whenever there’s the slightest political slant on the site, so let’s focus on the really important revelation: Hillary is Angelina Jolie’s cousin! and Barack is Brad Pitt’s cousin! TMZ links to the photoshopped blended family portraits. As Barack conceded on The View a couple of days ago, Brad’s the hot one in the family. (I’ll have to say, Don’t sell yourself short, Barack.)
These are exactly the evil evolutionary DNA experiments that repulse Republicans, but if you think I’ll let that stop me from inviting the Neo-cons to this mash-up mixer then you don’t know me very well.
Discover who’s lurking in the GOP’s ancestral closet after the cut.
Almost couldn’t give the GOP equal time because there’s such scant fossil evidence of John McCain’s heritage. (Unfortunately, there are no photographs of his uncle Odin, the ancient Norse god of war, battle and death.) But I’m all about the fairness, so I kept on searching. Happy to bring you this AwardsDaily exclusive, the only celebrity relative of John McCain whose picture we could find — his nephew, Methuselah.
Not trying to be mean, but it looks like McThuselah has had a little Botox work done around the eyes.
lol Ryan!!! brilliant
I stand magnificently corrected 🙂
T.
Is it just me, or does McThuselah bear an eerie resemblance to Pumpkinhead and/or one of the Tommyknockers?
That picture of Boy George W is reeally creepy. It looks like he’s trying to emulate Heath Ledger’s Joker and failed miserably.
Tufas,
Obama is Brad Pitt’s cousin.
Brad Pitt was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon was in Mystic River.
Mystic River, nominated for 6 Oscars.
Hillary is cousin of Oscar-winner Angelina Jolie.
Angelina Jolie used to be a vampire or something with Oscar-winner Billy Bob Thornton.
Billy Bob Thornton got to bone Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball, for which she won an Oscar.
Halle Berry was in Jungle Fever with Samuel L Jackson, “due” for an Oscar.
Samuel L. Jackson was in Jackie Brown with De Niro who’s won TWO Oscars.
Robert De Niro was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon
Kevin Bacon was in JFK.
JFK, nominated for 8 Oscars.
Bush 43 is the spawn of Bush 41, both subjects of Oliver Stone’s next film, W.
Oliver Stone, 11-time Oscar nominee.
John McCain thought Oscar Wilde was “a little light in the loafers” when they met in 1882.
and this is awards related because………………… ?
Come to think of it, Pittbama looks more like Academy Award winner Timothy Hutton.
OK, I’ll say it since no one else will: Pittbama looks like metrosexualized Mel Gibson. That is to say, five seconds from suicide.
The way you feel about Clinton, Sam Juliano, is how I do now, which I think is kind of amazing, because only a few months ago, I loved the Clintons. But their true colors have come out, and if she got the nomination, I just wouldn’t vote.
But even if she was on her best behavior, Obama’s still got my vote.
Finally, a thread that I can (again) promote the candidacy of Obama! Like Ryan Adams I have helped with a number of campaign functions and contributions—-the end of Hillary Clinton is getting near, with an insurmountable lead in pledged delegates and a popular vote advantage that is impossible to equal without revotes in Florida and Michigan, that at this point are extremely unlikely.
Obama has weathered the pastor controversy most admirably, and along the way we were treated to one of the greatest speeches about race ever given in America. The Clinton lies and distortions have exposed her as the charlatan she is, and only the damage that has been rendered each candidate will make November a real challenge. With probable wins in North Carolina, Oregon and Montana, and probable losses in Pennsylvania, Kentucky and West Virginia, there is virtually no way for Hillary to narrow the gap, especially with superdelegates beginning to shift in Obama’s direction.
Change is in the air, and that Obama 08 sign is lookin mighty good right now!
Needless to say, Ryan has crafted another most interesting and amusing thread here.
Obama is related to Tyler Durden?
Yet another reason to vote for him.
Seriously folks, would you vote for someone who’s cousin made TAKING LIVES?
Why did they have to make Brad Pitt’s lips so glossy?
How odd… to judge by that image, Hillary Clinton + Angelina Jolie = Vanessa Williams.
Who knew?
Just wait. With all this digging around, it’s going to come out that Dick Cheney is related to Hitler. But really, who would that surprise?
ahaha..I’m going to have to sleep with the lights on now or I’ll have nightmares about Boy George Bush.