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The Social Network, Endlessly Quotable

I can always tell when I really love a movie because I keep quoting it. Such was the case with No Country for Old Men, The Departed, The Aviator…The Departed remains one of the most quotable in recent memories, but most of Scorsese’s movies are. Vulture counters the NY Times’ Michael Cieply who doesn’t see any recent movies as being very quotable (that’s a generational thing) by offering up The Social Network, as I had also done on Twitter. By the way, Cieply asks Eric Roth to pull out a quote from The Social Network. Roth has written some memorable lines — there are many in The Insider and Forrest Gump. But Cieply (who seems to be leading the charge at the NY Times to try and “do something” about the Social Network’s unstoppable force) seems to have picked the wrong screenwriter for the job, as there are many quotable lines from film.

Here are the quotes Vulture pulled out:

5. ‚ÄúLike my brother and I are dressed in skeleton costumes chasing the karate kid around a high-school gym.”


6. ‚ÄúBecause we’re gentlemen of Harvard.”
7. “I like standing next to you, [insert name]. It makes me look tough in comparison.”
8. Using “The Winklevi” in a sentence. When being dismissive, generally.

9. “If your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try.‚Äù
10. ‚ÄúI believe I deserve some sort of recognition from this Ad Board.”

1. “If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you would have invented Facebook.”
2. ‚ÄúI’m six-foot-five, 220 pounds, and there’s two of me.‚Äù Great for bar fights!
3. ‚ÄúA million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dollars.‚Äù
4. “You better lawyer up, asshole.”

They’re pretty good. But since I happen to have the screenplay right here (“I happen to have Marshall McLuhan right here”), I thought I’d toss out a few of my favorites:

“Let’s gut the nerd.”

“I’m CEO, Bitch”

“I don’t hate anybody.”

“Excuse me, Anne?” “Yes?” “Punch me in the face.”

“You want to end the party at eleven.”

“That would be impressive except the algorithm I used was written on my dorm room window.”

“Your best friend is suing you for $600 million dollars.” “I hadn’t heard. Tell me more.”

“I’m talking about taking the entire social structure of college and putting it online.”

“I just can’t wait to stand over your shoulder while you write us a check.”

“Sorry, but by Prada’s at the cleaners along with my hoodie and my fuck-you flip-flops you pretentious douchebag.”

“I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look tough in comparison.”

“Okay, ‘No’ you don’t think I deserve your full attention?”
“I think if your clients want to stand on my shoulders and call themselves tall they have a right to give it a try. But there’s no requirement that I enjoy being here listening to people lie. You have PART of my attention – the minimum amount needed. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook where my employees and I are doing things no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?”

Not since Hannibal Lecter himself have we had such great lines.

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