What do you hope to see happen on Thursday? We’re giving away the Django Unchained soundtrack for the best haiku. Or you can just enter for fun. I’ll start. Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Got it.
Friends with a rabbit.
Elwood P. Dowd was his name.
Please nom Dowd named Ann!
Too many actors.
Leo, Christoph, Samuel L?
The D. is silent.
Oh God no Lincoln.
From his desk the blogger screamed.
Follow the money.
Cry a tear for me.
I couldn’t cry for Les Mis.
Nor Argentina.
Your turn!
Oscar time again
Why do I torture myself?
Too many choices
Darkly lost at sea
Tiger, tiger roaming me
Catching falling rain
Adversity flipped
Dance from inside out
Silver linings leap
Hollywood timing
Beguiling truths save the day
Mighty Argonauts
Martinis and guns
James Bond will snag the Oscar
With help from Adele
More Haiku:
DDL is gold
Black Knight Chris, worthy as Hugh
Craig, Brad, Jamie too
Wallace, Watson, Watts
Chastain, Dench, Hunt, Knightley, Smith
Law firms or winners?
Haiku One
Argo, Django, Pi
Lincoln, Beasts atop the Cloud
Les Miz, Looper, Oooh!
Two
Affleck, Hooper, Lee
Spielberg, Zemeckis, so true
A to Z the best
Boring Lincoln to sweep
Les Miserables
Do I fucking care?
Affleck has it sealed
Deakin’s Oscar is for real
Don’t wreck it for Ralph
Close-ups everywhere
On Hugh Jackman’s hair!
Shelf for Oscars: bare
Ahem:
Cotillard is up for gold
But so is Riva?
Doubtle subtitle – no way!
Joaquin called it all BS
Will the Master miss?
We will miss it if it does
Many box office killings
Latex heroes, spies
And the ex-president too
zero and django
thursday, oh, bloody thursday
will they have a chance?
daniel’s third one?
and steven’s, oh, and sally’s,
truly happening?
without harvey’s help
hooper took a lot of risks
will the plan pay off?
what about beasts, amour?
and skyfall, moonrise, master?
any surprises?
And all that just for the fun of racking my brain and coming up with something creative. Love it! (I would’ve written that in italics if I knew how it works. :-))
So sorry PaulH
J-Chastain killed Osama
J-Law next victim
The Masters on screen:
Hithcock, dead on arrival
Lincoln, brought to life.
~
David O. Russell’s
SLP’s not LOL.
I <3 his old stuff.
One for the Money
For it I want my dough back [xD]
O my fair lady*
ARGO FVCK YOVRSELF
Afflection be he, Wiz Kid**
Frontrunner, ’Nuff said
Yet lo and behold
O come the twain nemesis:
Spielberg and Bigelow. . . .
And last but not least
For I still want my dough back:
One for the Money [xD]
–
[*Ms. Katherine Heigl (Anyway, to be clear: I hold no grudge against that movie; it’s been used here lightheartedly and purposely for fart-joke effect. Love to Ms. Heigl and the team.)]
[**Ben Affleck]
Django’s groovy but
When will Quentin cast Gosling?
He hits my replay.
Real Best Picture Race
Wednesday night, People’s Choice, yeah
Hunger, Dark, Avenge
Let’s root for J-Law
Send Chastain down to defeat
Bigelow with her.
All girls lend support
No clear female leads, ‘012
I thought women ruled
i do look forward
to learning how to pronounce
Quvenzhané’s name
if that thing les mis
gets any technical nod
i will cry a lot
i had really hoped
Hooper would do well after
The King’s Speech – but no
here is random hope
that Skyfall’s Silva and M
might make a breakthrough
Don’t drink the Kool-Aid
Lincoln is overrated
Go with Perks instead!
How Silver Linings
Is not considered torture
Is the real debate
Ignore that trash film
from Trendy Tarantino
Wait for Steve McQueen
Without Marius
I’d be left all on my own
Don’t forget Redmayne!
Ok, that’s it for now, I have a life to live.
Django is Unleached,
Lincoln frees the slaves,
But Affleck saves the Day.
Beasts nominated for Best Picture, Best Direction, Actress, Supporting Actor, Score, Screenplay, Cimenatography, David Strathairn for Lincoln, Jean-Louis Trintignant for Amour
What I hope to see is a best actress nom for juno temple for little birds and also a best cinematography nom for little birds to
Riva, Mon Amour
Nominate both Andersons
Do not snub Joaquin
Nic is Charlotte Bless.
Embodiment of trashy.
Nominate her, peeps!
Visually
Stunning. Beasts of the Southern
Wild for Best Picture.
So what? I cheated.
I can do whatever I
Want. Haiku’s are fun.
Jessica watch out
Jennifer get out the way
Cuz Naomi Watts is going all the way!
pundits are frantic –
there’s no clear leader in sight
which ones blow their cred?
BP formula:
bi-polar tiger sings live
escaping Iran
Look at this year’s race:
more dangling and teasing than
in all of Magic Mike!
Best Actress is free!
No Meryl campaign from we.
Fourth Oscar next year.
For Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Foreign Language Film:
In a million years,
Kids remember Hushpuppy.
Will Oscar this week?
Marion’s legit.
AMPAS, take note ‘cuz baby,
She’s a firework.
Nicole’s one hot vamp.
A nom would give new meaning
To the phrase “O-face.”
Por el filme “No,”
Alegría ya v’ene.
Oscar, diga “Si.”
(just for fun)
Savages, Loopers
Dark Knights and Hobbits. Who will
Avenge them? Django!
Five?Ten?Seven?Nine?
Include it or leave it off?
Prediction: mind blown.
Keep me.
Kid me.
Keep man.
Kid man.
Bless me.
Bless them.
By your fantastic Charlotte.
Leonardo Wins.
And Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t.
What a lovely world.
[spam filter acting cray today. Sorry for the delay in some of your haiku showing up.]
Bradley Cooper must
Get his first nomination
Please, please, please, please, please
Which one can surprise?
Cloud Atlas or hopefully
Beasts of the Southern Wild
And, a limerick:
There once was a movie named Argo
It kind of sounds like Fargo
It came out in October
When no one else was sober
I picked it as the frontrunner buy-and-largo
lawrence de cooper
hope silver is the new gold
so, give ’em some love
affleck’s masterstroke
zeitgeisty storytelling
so, argo will rise
sing-song – boos and aahs
sure no gold at oscar night
cock-a-hoop? er, yeah
argo, lincoln, dark
the good, the hope and the war
Oh, scary timing
zero unbloody
dark side covers all the world
thirty lines of coke
Too many to choose
But Denzel overrated
Please don’t fuck this up
The Master is slow
There is a little action
If you count hand jobs
Danny Cohen’s speech:
“All credit to Tom Hooper;
He broke the zoom-out.”
Hoffman, De Niro,
Arkin, Jones, Waltz and Bardem,
Let Leo win one.
Best Picture announced.
Empty chairs, empty tables,
But not for Les Mis.
Ben Affleck can act
He has a writing Oscar
He can direct too
Pi was like Tom Hanks
Richard Parker was Wilson
3-D Castaway
I really love ye
A Chastain by the name Jessy
If she wins, Yessy!!
*Asks Julianne Moore.
Sorry! Haha.
I dreamed a dream of
Ties in the acting races
For Lincoln, Les Mis.
Wolverine can sing
President Lincoln freed slaves
Give them both Oscars.
Widow, Kong’s lover,
And tsunami survivor.
Pick Mulholland’s dame!
Smith, De Niro, and
Arkin are acting legends
But not the year’s best.
I like kid actors,
But Wallis is too one-note.
Patty Duke she’s not.
She peed on Zac, but
Her hillbilly voice got me.
Throw Nicole a bone!
Great directors duel.
Timeliness means everything.
Django, fuck yourself.
Great performances
Make you ask like Ann Dowd’s does,
Would you do the same?
“Jessica Chastain,
Why do you take all the parts?”
-Julianne Moore
Of two minds this year.
Few leave me feeling amour.
So go with Spielberg.
Academy, please
Show me that you’re Wide Awake.
Pick Katy Perry.
I like Jennifer,
But win for Silver Linings?
Annie Hall she ain’t.
Wallis, Hunt, Chastain,
The only self-sufficient
Women on film. Sad.
Zero Dark Thirty
was a pleasure to sit through
It was not torture
Is it Lincoln’s Year?
Z D 30 or Les Miz?
None. Argo more fun.
A year of good flick
Hard to choose just one best pic
Lincoln by a lick
Too many close ups
Singing live was a mistake
Russell Crowe can’t sing
Waltz, Ledger, Bardem
New best supporting villain?
Will it be Leo?
Great big pretty mouth
Dreamed a dream on tear streaked cheek
The sky trembles
Lincoln freed the slaves
Dr. King Schulz did as well
Django is proof
Hathaway should win
For her badass Selina
Instead of her tears
PT Anderson
If he not nominated,
Yes, There Will Be Blood.
Another haiku?
Who won the previous contest?
You announced it yet?
I’m sure it ain’t me.
I keep joining your contests,
But I never win.
Should I join again?
I don’t even like haiku.
Sounds like caveman’s poem!
Damn those syllables!
You make me count my fingers,
Though I’m good in math.
Forget about it.
I’m just not going to join!
Won’t win anyway.
On the other hand,
That Django soundtrack seems cool,
Though I hate the film.
So the dilemma…
Compose a haiku or not?
Help me out guys, thanks!
There is a pattern
To all this. Predictions bring
Joy when I’m not wrong.
Chris begs anew
Oscar no dice still
Fans buttfucked
It tells you something:
Back five years, I predicted
Spielberg, and Lincoln.
Without Viagra
Lawrence erects and is in
Don’t forget Wallis
Will Watts and Holland,
Ride their wave to Oscar night?
Not Impossible.
Anne Hathaway sings
People started crying
Has it in the bag
SLP runs fast
Toward critics approval
Sadly left me bored
Jackman must take gold
or blues reign on Oscar Night
In deep misery
Master empty hands
Tribute to Lincoln as whole
Final prediction
Jessica Chastain
Jennifer Lawrence as well
Can we have a tie?
Deniro, Arkin,
Hoffman and Tommy Lee J……
Whoops, I fell asleep.
Argo and Lincoln
With Zero Dark spoiling.
That’s the Oscar race.
Chastain is ready
Lawrence is ready as well
Who is frontrunner?