Pre-Nominations Oscar Haiku

What do you hope to see happen on Thursday?  We’re giving away the Django Unchained soundtrack for the best haiku. Or you can just enter for fun.  I’ll start.  Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. Got it.

Friends with a rabbit.
Elwood P. Dowd was his name.
Please nom Dowd named Ann!

Too many actors.
Leo, Christoph, Samuel L?
The D. is silent.

Oh God no Lincoln.
From his desk the blogger screamed.
Follow the money.

Cry a tear for me.
I couldn’t cry for Les Mis.
Nor Argentina.

Your turn!

65 Comments on this Post

  1. Micheal

    Chastain is ready
    Lawrence is ready as well
    Who is frontrunner?

  2. Argo and Lincoln
    With Zero Dark spoiling.
    That’s the Oscar race.

  3. RyanAgu

    Deniro, Arkin,
    Hoffman and Tommy Lee J……
    Whoops, I fell asleep.

  4. Backson

    Jessica Chastain
    Jennifer Lawrence as well
    Can we have a tie?

  5. SLP runs fast
    Toward critics approval
    Sadly left me bored

    Jackman must take gold
    or blues reign on Oscar Night
    In deep misery

    Master empty hands
    Tribute to Lincoln as whole
    Final prediction

  6. Ra Serna

    Anne Hathaway sings
    People started crying
    Has it in the bag

  7. Christophe

    Will Watts and Holland,
    Ride their wave to Oscar night?
    Not Impossible.

  8. Addison

    Without Viagra
    Lawrence erects and is in
    Don’t forget Wallis

  9. Jerry Grant

    It tells you something:
    Back five years, I predicted
    Spielberg, and Lincoln.

  10. red_wine

    Chris begs anew
    Oscar no dice still
    Fans buttfucked

  11. Jerry Grant

    There is a pattern
    To all this. Predictions bring
    Joy when I’m not wrong.

  12. Another haiku?
    Who won the previous contest?
    You announced it yet?

    I’m sure it ain’t me.
    I keep joining your contests,
    But I never win.

    Should I join again?
    I don’t even like haiku.
    Sounds like caveman’s poem!

    Damn those syllables!
    You make me count my fingers,
    Though I’m good in math.

    Forget about it.
    I’m just not going to join!
    Won’t win anyway.

    On the other hand,
    That Django soundtrack seems cool,
    Though I hate the film.

    So the dilemma…
    Compose a haiku or not?
    Help me out guys, thanks!

  13. PT Anderson
    If he not nominated,
    Yes, There Will Be Blood.

  14. Hathaway should win
    For her badass Selina
    Instead of her tears

  15. representDLV

    Lincoln freed the slaves
    Dr. King Schulz did as well
    Django is proof

  16. robert k

    Great big pretty mouth
    Dreamed a dream on tear streaked cheek
    The sky trembles

  17. Waltz, Ledger, Bardem
    New best supporting villain?
    Will it be Leo?

  18. representDLV

    Too many close ups
    Singing live was a mistake
    Russell Crowe can’t sing

  19. A year of good flick
    Hard to choose just one best pic
    Lincoln by a lick

  20. Sean Rial

    Is it Lincoln’s Year?
    Z D 30 or Les Miz?
    None. Argo more fun.

  21. representDLV

    Zero Dark Thirty
    was a pleasure to sit through
    It was not torture

  22. I dreamed a dream of
    Ties in the acting races
    For Lincoln, Les Mis.

    Wolverine can sing
    President Lincoln freed slaves
    Give them both Oscars.

    Widow, Kong’s lover,
    And tsunami survivor.
    Pick Mulholland’s dame!

    Smith, De Niro, and
    Arkin are acting legends
    But not the year’s best.

    I like kid actors,
    But Wallis is too one-note.
    Patty Duke she’s not.

    She peed on Zac, but
    Her hillbilly voice got me.
    Throw Nicole a bone!

    Great directors duel.
    Timeliness means everything.
    Django, fuck yourself.

    Great performances
    Make you ask like Ann Dowd’s does,
    Would you do the same?

    “Jessica Chastain,
    Why do you take all the parts?”
    -Julianne Moore

    Of two minds this year.
    Few leave me feeling amour.
    So go with Spielberg.

    Academy, please
    Show me that you’re Wide Awake.
    Pick Katy Perry.

    I like Jennifer,
    But win for Silver Linings?
    Annie Hall she ain’t.

    Wallis, Hunt, Chastain,
    The only self-sufficient
    Women on film. Sad.

  23. *Asks Julianne Moore.

    Sorry! Haha.

  24. I really love ye
    A Chastain by the name Jessy
    If she wins, Yessy!!

  25. representDLV

    Pi was like Tom Hanks
    Richard Parker was Wilson
    3-D Castaway

  26. representDLV

    Ben Affleck can act
    He has a writing Oscar
    He can direct too

  27. Patrick

    Danny Cohen’s speech:
    “All credit to Tom Hooper;
    He broke the zoom-out.”

    Hoffman, De Niro,
    Arkin, Jones, Waltz and Bardem,
    Let Leo win one.

    Best Picture announced.
    Empty chairs, empty tables,
    But not for Les Mis.

  28. representDLV

    The Master is slow
    There is a little action
    If you count hand jobs

  29. Vincent

    Too many to choose
    But Denzel overrated
    Please don’t fuck this up

  30. Jack Traven II

    sing-song – boos and aahs
    sure no gold at oscar night
    cock-a-hoop? er, yeah

    argo, lincoln, dark
    the good, the hope and the war
    Oh, scary timing

    zero unbloody
    dark side covers all the world
    thirty lines of coke

  31. Jack Traven II

    lawrence de cooper
    hope silver is the new gold
    so, give ‘em some love

    affleck’s masterstroke
    zeitgeisty storytelling
    so, argo will rise

  32. Bradley Cooper must
    Get his first nomination
    Please, please, please, please, please

    Which one can surprise?
    Cloud Atlas or hopefully
    Beasts of the Southern Wild

    And, a limerick:

    There once was a movie named Argo
    It kind of sounds like Fargo
    It came out in October
    When no one else was sober
    I picked it as the frontrunner buy-and-largo

  33. Jason Travis

    Leonardo Wins.
    And Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t.
    What a lovely world.

  34. Keep me.
    Kid me.
    Keep man.
    Kid man.
    Bless me.
    Bless them.
    By your fantastic Charlotte.

  35. Five?Ten?Seven?Nine?
    Include it or leave it off?
    Prediction: mind blown.

  36. [spam filter acting cray today. Sorry for the delay in some of your haiku showing up.]

  37. (just for fun)

    Savages, Loopers
    Dark Knights and Hobbits. Who will
    Avenge them? Django!

  38. For Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Foreign Language Film:

    In a million years,
    Kids remember Hushpuppy.
    Will Oscar this week?

    Marion’s legit.
    AMPAS, take note ‘cuz baby,
    She’s a firework.

    Nicole’s one hot vamp.
    A nom would give new meaning
    To the phrase “O-face.”

    Por el filme “No,”
    Alegría ya v’ene.
    Oscar, diga “Si.”

  39. Best Actress is free!
    No Meryl campaign from we.
    Fourth Oscar next year.

  40. steve50

    pundits are frantic –
    there’s no clear leader in sight
    which ones blow their cred?

    BP formula:
    bi-polar tiger sings live
    escaping Iran

    Look at this year’s race:
    more dangling and teasing than
    in all of Magic Mike!

  41. Winston

    Jessica watch out
    Jennifer get out the way
    Cuz Naomi Watts is going all the way!

  42. Nic is Charlotte Bless.
    Embodiment of trashy.
    Nominate her, peeps!

    Visually
    Stunning. Beasts of the Southern
    Wild for Best Picture.

    So what? I cheated.
    I can do whatever I
    Want. Haiku’s are fun.

  43. Riva, Mon Amour
    Nominate both Andersons
    Do not snub Joaquin

  44. david leary

    What I hope to see is a best actress nom for juno temple for little birds and also a best cinematography nom for little birds to

  45. Beasts nominated for Best Picture, Best Direction, Actress, Supporting Actor, Score, Screenplay, Cimenatography, David Strathairn for Lincoln, Jean-Louis Trintignant for Amour

  46. Al Robinson

    Django is Unleached,

    Lincoln frees the slaves,

    But Affleck saves the Day.

  47. rufussondheim

    Don’t drink the Kool-Aid
    Lincoln is overrated
    Go with Perks instead!

    How Silver Linings
    Is not considered torture
    Is the real debate

    Ignore that trash film
    from Trendy Tarantino
    Wait for Steve McQueen

    Without Marius
    I’d be left all on my own
    Don’t forget Redmayne!

    Ok, that’s it for now, I have a life to live.

  48. sarah el

    i do look forward
    to learning how to pronounce
    Quvenzhané’s name

    if that thing les mis
    gets any technical nod
    i will cry a lot

    i had really hoped
    Hooper would do well after
    The King’s Speech – but no

    here is random hope
    that Skyfall’s Silva and M
    might make a breakthrough

  49. Bill W.

    All girls lend support
    No clear female leads, ‘012
    I thought women ruled

  50. Let’s root for J-Law
    Send Chastain down to defeat
    Bigelow with her.

  51. Real Best Picture Race
    Wednesday night, People’s Choice, yeah
    Hunger, Dark, Avenge

  52. Django’s groovy but
    When will Quentin cast Gosling?
    He hits my replay.

  53. The Japanese Viewer

    One for the Money
    For it I want my dough back [xD]
    O my fair lady*

    ARGO FVCK YOVRSELF
    Afflection be he, Wiz Kid**
    Frontrunner, ’Nuff said

    Yet lo and behold
    O come the twain nemesis:
    Spielberg and Bigelow. . . .

    And last but not least
    For I still want my dough back:
    One for the Money [xD]

    [*Ms. Katherine Heigl (Anyway, to be clear: I hold no grudge against that movie; it’s been used here lightheartedly and purposely for fart-joke effect. Love to Ms. Heigl and the team.)]

    [**Ben Affleck]

  54. The Masters on screen:
    Hithcock, dead on arrival
    Lincoln, brought to life.

    ~

    David O. Russell’s
    SLP’s not LOL.
    I <3 his old stuff.

  55. So sorry PaulH
    J-Chastain killed Osama
    J-Law next victim

  56. Jack Traven II

    zero and django
    thursday, oh, bloody thursday
    will they have a chance?

    daniel’s third one?
    and steven’s, oh, and sally’s,
    truly happening?

    without harvey’s help
    hooper took a lot of risks
    will the plan pay off?

    what about beasts, amour?
    and skyfall, moonrise, master?
    any surprises?

    And all that just for the fun of racking my brain and coming up with something creative. Love it! (I would’ve written that in italics if I knew how it works. :-))

  57. Ahem:

    Cotillard is up for gold
    But so is Riva?
    Doubtle subtitle – no way!

    Joaquin called it all BS
    Will the Master miss?
    We will miss it if it does

    Many box office killings
    Latex heroes, spies
    And the ex-president too

  58. Dennis Bee

    Close-ups everywhere
    On Hugh Jackman’s hair!
    Shelf for Oscars: bare

  59. BlueFox94

    Affleck has it sealed
    Deakin’s Oscar is for real
    Don’t wreck it for Ralph

  60. Boring Lincoln to sweep
    Les Miserables
    Do I fucking care?

  61. Liz7bee

    Haiku One

    Argo, Django, Pi
    Lincoln, Beasts atop the Cloud
    Les Miz, Looper, Oooh!

    Two
    Affleck, Hooper, Lee
    Spielberg, Zemeckis, so true
    A to Z the best

  62. Liz7bee

    More Haiku:

    DDL is gold
    Black Knight Chris, worthy as Hugh
    Craig, Brad, Jamie too

    Wallace, Watson, Watts
    Chastain, Dench, Hunt, Knightley, Smith
    Law firms or winners?

  63. William chase

    Martinis and guns
    James Bond will snag the Oscar
    With help from Adele

  64. Darkly lost at sea
    Tiger, tiger roaming me
    Catching falling rain

    Adversity flipped
    Dance from inside out
    Silver linings leap

    Hollywood timing
    Beguiling truths save the day
    Mighty Argonauts

  65. alan of montreal

    Oscar time again
    Why do I torture myself?
    Too many choices

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