Veep‘s Jonah Ryan laments the plight of the Emmy voter in The Hollywood Reporter
Oscar voters thought they had it bad. Try talking to an Emmy voter this time of year.
Television critics, Emmy watchers, or Emmy prognosticators lament the absence of their favorite series after the Emmy nominations announcement. It’s inevitable. There are only seven slots for series nominations, six for the performance races. Something is left out. Why is that? Over 400 scripted series are eligible for Emmy consideration. That means over 400 series that a serious Emmy voter should consume before casting their vote, currently due next Monday, June 27.
As such, Veep co-star Timothy Simons penned a comic essay about the plight of the Emmy voter for The Hollywood Reporter. Use “plight” loosely here as the essay is purely comic. Here’s a taste:
It started simply, as a virus would, and spread quickly. Historically we might remember such firsts as Typhoid Mary, the baby in the Lewis house during the Broad Street Pump cholera outbreak or whoever returned from the Rio Olympics with that antibiotic-resistant superbacterium. In my case it was the UnREAL screener…
So, yes, the essay is very funny. And, yes, the essay is cleverly timed during the midst of the Emmy voting window. Simons’s campaign this year seems to be constructed mostly of clever social media quirks. The undercurrent of the piece, however, is the truly ridiculous situation thrust upon Emmy voters this time of year. No one can expect the Television Academy to absorb that much great content over the span of a month. Remember, these are (mostly) all working professionals. Watching an entire TV season – or enough of it to get an understanding of its quality – is a far greater undertaking than simply watching a 2-hour film.
This is probably why The Americans or The Affair or Bates Motel aren’t getting nominated. All shows are widely acclaimed, award-winning series. Yet, for some reason, the shows aren’t making it to the top of the Emmy pile. The Americans in particular is a buzzy series, but only in certain circles: critics and fans. Game of Thrones. Better Call Saul. Veep. Orange Is the New Black. These shows catch the zeitgeist. They’re on everyone’s lips, and they’re in all television conversations. The Americans, by contrast, is most famous at this point for being that show the Emmys never nominate. It’s not particularly a winning platform.
And why is that? Well, a gluttony of great television four years ago most likely made it difficult for the show to gain attention, and The Americans failed to get in. Three seasons later, Emmy voters aren’t going to pick it up and all of a sudden decide it’s “the best show on television.” They have so many other series to watch. They’re going to look at what they know. They’re going to vote for either the show with heat (Game of Thrones) or the comfortably known quantity (House of Cards). Television series face uphill battles to break into serious Emmy wins if their first seasons failed to ignite.
Maybe asking 18,500 members of the Television Academy to get through 400-plus dramatic series is too big of an undertaking? Maybe the method of nomination-by-committee is really the best method? Maybe series should only submit a single episode rather than ask viewers to consider entire seasons? Or maybe the Television Academy should just own up to the widespread quality out there and allow for ten nomination slots in the Drama and Comedy Series races. Perhaps then previously ignored series could finally get their chance at Emmy glory.
Maybe then they’ll get to the top of Timothy Simons’ (and others’) Emmy screener pile.
Here at AwardsDaily TV, everything is about the Emmys lately. Still, it’s nice to kick back and take in a few non-Emmy related pieces of entertainment. And, as such, here’s the best thing we’ve seen all day. A few days ago, Mashable released this reimagining of Steven Spielberg’s classic, Oscar-winning E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial as a 90s-era sitcom. The edit/music combo is in perfect sync. Yes, that’s the theme some from Perfect Strangers, which makes it even more amazingly perfect.
My personal favorite moment is the “standing tall on the wings of my dream” juxtaposition against Elliot standing on a stool to kiss a classmate after the great frog debacle.
Hope you enjoy as much as we did.
TBS will debut their new cop comedy, Angie Tribeca, this weekend in a most peculiar and unprecedented fashion. Instead of putting the entire season on Netflix or Hulu, the network has decided to air the first 10 episodes commercial free for 25 straight hours. I was contacted online by the awesome social media team from the show, and they sent me a totally badass box full of goodies to help me get through the episodes! Color me lucky!
I was super anxious to see what was inside that I opened it on the kitchen floor (you know, like a fool). It was a particularly rainy day, so the box was pretty soaked when I got it. Thanks FedEx for leaving it in an actual puddle, by the way. The delivery service can’t be entirely to blame, though. From what I understand, the majority of apartments in South Florida have open designs, so I’m going to blame this one on the Sunshine State itself.
The first thing to greet me was a letter from Angie Tribeca herself. If the show is similar in tone, I feel like I’m going to love it. She explains everything that she lovingly packed in this binge box. Angie knows that she’s asking a lot from her viewers, so she wants to make sure they are comfy while they tune in this weekend (it starts at 9 PM on Sunday night, by the way).
I’ve never received something from an actual show, but this box is pretty sweet. Angie (we’re on a first name basis, just so you know) sent me the following swag:
- A pack of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee
- An Angie Tribeca mug to drink it from (she’s sensible, obvi!)
- A temporary tattoo to showcase my immediate (and permanent) love
- An adult diaper so I won’t have to miss a single moment
- An actual $20 giftcard. Consider pizza ordered!
- Eyedrops to keep my eyes open in the wee hours
But want to know the best thing? The coziest and, in my opinion, snuggliest thing in this box has to be this bad boy:
Ohhhh, yes! Be jealous of my Angie Tribeca fleece! I can confirm that it’s soft and cuddly in all the right ways. Even after this binge is over, I’m sure I will fall asleep draped in dreams of Rashida Jones.
Angie Tribeca debuts its 25-hour binge Sunday, January 17th at 9PM.
When favorite TV series end, the most fervid fans often ask themselves this question: “What other show can I latch onto to fill this void?”
We’re in the Golden Age of television, so even though cultural phenomena like Mad Men ended this year, there’s surely another great drama just around the corner (or already on television, Hulu, Netflix, whatever).
The same cannot be said for E!’s The Soup. When the network revealed in late November that they would not be bringing back Joel McHale and company for episodes in 2016, I asked myself what show I could watch to supplement my weekly dose of reality television and snark, and nothing came to mind.
Sure, there have been copycats (remember Danielle Fishel on Style Network’s The Dish or Chris Hardwick on Web Soup?), but none of these shows lasted because they deviated from what was most crucial to the success of The Soup: biting commentary on the ridiculousness of television. For even though we are in the Golden Age of TV, we also live in an age where Keeping Up with the Kardashians has aired more episodes than critical darlings like 30 Rock (150 to 138).
In many ways, The Soup was a part of the checks-and-balances of the TV world. The networks were the “lawmakers,” or the ones that would greenlight crap like Bad Girls’ Club and Wives with Knives, while The Soup was part of the judicial branch, the people to shake our shoulders and remind us that we had just watched a two-hour block of shows about storage units.
While reality television isn’t as potent as it was 10 or 15 years ago, when Survivor dominated the ratings, it’s more superfluous now. If you do have cable, you can’t change the channel without coming across some sort of reality programming, and The Soup crawled these channels for the worst (Finding Bigfoot), the so-sexually-suggestive-you-can’t-look-away (Gold Rush Alaska), and the blink-and-you-miss-it moments (Spaghetti Cat?).
Tosh.0 may be the closest thing to filling the void, but it doesn’t have the heart of The Soup. After all, when The Soup was supposed to air the night of the Paris terrorist attack, they canceled. In 2008, when Heath Ledger died, they told the paparazzi to leave him and his family alone. For as much poking and prodding as they did to celebrities, they also were respectful of reality.
The Soup was also the one show on E! to keep the network legitimate and real. If you’ve ever caught E! News, you know that it really should be called Kardashian News or Why is this News?. The Soup was the one show that never pandered to the aura of celebrity. Now, without this show on the network, E! has officially cultivated a world of vapid men and women and botched plastic surgery. There’s no counterbalance. Even Chelsea Handler is gone.
I suppose that The Soup was going to end soon anyway, especially since most people don’t have cable anymore, and if you don’t have cable, you’re not able to know these reality TV references or even watch the damn program on E!. So maybe the end of The Soup is the end of an era.
Unfortunately, we’ll still be overrun by unnecessary reality shows. We just won’t have anyone to dish with about it.
Editor’s Note: This piece was originally published on Awards Daily TV last November.
I have watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving every year for some 30-odd years now. That number’s getting a lot closer to 40 than I’m willing to admit, but, suffice to say, it’s become the definitive Thanksgiving tradition within the Moye household. My wife and I share it multiple times during the Thanksgiving season with our children: Cal, 10, and Ava, 6.
This year, though, it struck me that they routinely watch the special – with its admittedly dated (but completely charming) animation and old school jazz soundtrack – without complaint. In fact, they love it and beg to watch it almost every night around Thanksgiving. We don’t cave to that, fortunately.
Still, I wondered what they’re really getting out of the experience. How does the classic resonate with modern children raised on Phineas and Ferb or Adventure Time?
I decided to sit Cal and Ava down after a recent early viewing and do my best to pose these questions to them. The results were mixed, but I think we extrapolate enough out of the subsequent barrage of stream of consciousness rambling and sibling rivalry to get our answer.
To get them in the right mood, I prepared a traditional Charlie Brown Thanksgiving feast straight out of the TV show: popcorn, pretzel sticks, buttered toast, and jellybeans. It wasn’t until the midst of our family viewing that we realized I’d left out some sort of ice cream sundae the Peanuts gang managed to whip up. Still, they were happy with what we’d created.
Much like the Thanksgiving special, we did have some slightly uninvited guests crash the party. Once the kids’ friends left, we sat down and chatted briefly about the complete A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special, which now includes The Mayflower Voyagers.
Here is the transcript of our conversation (with my commentary).
Your mom and I grew up watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving but it came out around the same time we were born. Why do you guys like it?
Cal: Oh, it’s because it tells us an important lesson and gives us the food we need to make our Charlie Brown Thanksgiving picnic out in the garage. Wait no, not in the garage! Inside! But really all it’s about is friendship and caring.
What kind of ‘important lesson’ do you think you learned?
Cal: Umm. Umm.
Ava: He doesn’t know.
Cal: Sharing is caring? (Erupting into laughter)
Ava: I liked Charlie Brown’s thanksgiving because everyone is thankful for all the people that died, and it teaches us a lesson… A different one (Pointing to her brother, insinuating that her lesson would be completely different from her brother’s lesson).
What’s the different lesson?
Ava: Umm, that you always have to care about the people that died.
Cal: That’s EXACTLY what I said!
So who died, Ava?
Ava: The pilgrims.
Ah. OK. We’re going to talk about the pilgrims a little bit later. Let’s talk about Charlie Brown. What’s your favorite part about the actual Charlie Brown Thanksgiving episode?
Cal: OHHHH! Mine is when Lucy calls him a blockhead!
Ava: I’m Lucy! Lucy the Great!
Cal: Lucy is mean as heck! Oh, can I say that? (Confusing “heck” with “hell.”)
Ava: My favorite part is when Peppermint Patty called Charlie Brown and just invited herself and she just invited Marcie and Franklin.
Cal: I think that’s the main idea of the whole story.
Do you think that’s polite?
Both: No!
Why do you think that’s not polite?
Cal: Because Marcie picks her boogers.
(At this point, we had to stop because Cal laughed himself into an asthma attack. We resumed after a few minutes.)
So, Cal, you said Marcie was a booger picker. I don’t remember that from the show.
Cal: Oh yeah, she totally did like this (Illustrates a sly, profile booger-picking technique)
Ava: (Ignoring her brother) It’s not polite because YOU CAN’T JUST INVITE YOURSELF!!!
(Ava quickly became agitated at the thought of the Peanuts gang inviting themselves over for the impromptu Thanksgiving meal, completely missing the irony of her own friends doing the exact same thing to me.)
That’s right, you can’t invite yourself. Although, technically, that’s kind of what the pilgrims did. They invited themselves to the Native American’s land, don’t you think?
Cal: (Indecipherable, nonsensical noise)
Ava: Yeah, but you can’t just invite yourself to Thanksgiving without people saying you can, right???
Ok. Let’s move on. What year do you think A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving was made?
(Ava’s hand shoots up in a Tracy Flickian manner, but Cal interrupts.)
Cal: 1987! Wait no. 1978!
Ava: Mine is 1972!
That’s actually pretty close, Ava. The special originally aired back in 1973.
Cal: Well, I was pretty close.
No, you weren’t. Not at all. She was the closest.
Cal: But I said 1987!
But 1987 isn’t close to 1973. She wins. So, why do you watch it given that it’s older than Dad?
Cal: Because it’s funny how Lucy says, “You blockhead!”
That’s the only thing that you’ve learned from it?
Cal: No. Don’t be naughty to other people. Think of how you want to be treated by others.
Ava: You can be naughty to your brother, right Cal?
Cal: I don’t have a brother.
Ava: Well, I have a brother. That’s you. And I will be naughty to you.
So, do you guys think it’s funny… still funny when compared to more modern cartoons?
Cal: Yes. Definitely.
What’s the funniest part?
(Tracy Flick strikes again but is interrupted by Cal.)
Cal: Umm…
Something other than Lucy calling Charlie Brown ‘blockhead.’
Cal: Aww man!
Ava: It’s funny because Snoopy cooks the popcorn, and it overflows. That’s so funny.
(I agree with Ava, causing her to stick her tongue out at Cal.)
Cal: (Takes the high road) My favorite part…
Ava: I HAVE ANOTHER FAVORITE!
Wait your turn, please.
Cal: It’s when Snoopy (Erupts into indecipherable, nonsensical noise dealing with something about Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball video and Thanksgiving bloopers. Something from YouTube, I later gathered.) OK, it’s when Snoopy and Woodstock fight over the pilgrim suit.
Ava: No, it’s when Snoopy fights the chair.
Oh, yes, that’s your mom’s favorite part. Let’s talk about that. Why do you think the chair has its own personality?
Cal: (Ignoring the question) The funniest part is when we had our actual Charlie Brown feast and when Samuel [Cal’s friend] watched that and we called him Snoopy and we all said ‘You’re getting beat up by a chair’ and we all started laughing. It was a pretty funny moment.
(A pause.)
Ava: You’re a blockhead.
(They begin to fight, throwing a small basket at each other. With a smile on my face so as not to convey seriousness, I threaten to cut the hands off the next child that touches the basket.)
Ava: O-M-G!
(The basket is dropped.)
So what do you think about [Charlie Brown’s] Thanksgiving meal?
Ava: OH! It’s SO GOOD. I loved the jellybeans. I don’t love the pretzels. The popcorn… I don’t know, but when I put it in Sprite it tasted really bad. It fell in the Sprite. It was pretty gross.
Cal: I liked the pretzels, but I’d rather have no junk food at all. I want turkey and Honey Baked Ham.
(We’ve never actually ordered Honey Baked Ham for Thanksgiving, so I’m not sure where that came from.)
Do you think you’ll watch Charlie Brown when you have children?
Ava: Yeah.
Cal: (Interrupting, causing Ava to go into spasms) It won’t even be out on DVD, and it probably will be obliterated in the future.
(Ava takes the floor.)
Ava: I think my kids would really like it if I had any, but if they didn’t then we would never watch it again.
Well, it’s kind of a Thanksgiving family tradition for us. You wouldn’t continue that?
Ava: YES! I WOULD CARRY IT ON AS A TRADITION!!!! (Said with the same vocal expression as He-Man’s battle cry “I HAVE THE POWER!!!”)
Cal: I think my kids will hate it because I will show them really cool movies and they’ll be all “It’s old, dad. Put it up!”
But you like it?
Cal: Yeah!
But in 20 years it’ll be too old for your kids to watch?
Cal: I’m not going to get a wife until I’m 40. I’m going to be “homies” with my friends for a long part of my life.
OK. That’s a different conversation. Anything else you want to say about A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving?
(Again, Tracy Flick…)
Ava: I want to say that it’s really nice, and it has a bunch of lessons like both of ours…
Cal: (Interrupting) A bunch of Lexus’s?
Ava: LESSONS, blockhead!
Cal: Oh, lessons. I thought you said Lexus’s.
Ava: Umm. So it teaches us some stuff that we like, and sometimes Lucy’s mean and Charlie Brown has no hair.
Why do you think Charlie Brown has no hair?
Cal: I dunno.
Ava: He might have had cancer!
Cal: I don’t think they knew about cancer in the 1987s!
OK. Moving on. What about the pilgrims episode (The Mayflower Voyagers)? One of you likes that one better than the traditional Thanksgiving special.
Ava: (Flicking her hand up again.) I like the pilgrims.
Why do you like it better, though?
Ava: Oh, because Charlie Brown and all the Thanksgiving people come…
Cal: Thanksgiving people!?!?! But there’s no turkey!
Ava: (Ignoring) Umm. Franklin and Peppermint Patty and Marcie come. But the pilgrims one, they talk about the pilgrims and what they did.
So, let me see if I understand. The Peanuts characters are recast as pilgrim children, and you liked that?
Ava: Yeah!
Cal: The peanuts???
Well, that’s what they’re all called. It’s the Peanuts.
Cal: Well, that makes no sense.
Well, that’s what they’re called. Anyway, Cal, you like the traditional Charlie Brown special better, right? Why is that?
Cal: It doesn’t give as many valuable lessons as the first one. The first one is about don’t invite yourself and don’t be mean to others. The pilgrims one only teaches one lesson and that’s don’t go on other people’s property and kill them for no apparent reason.
Ava: Don’t kill pilgrims!!!
(They erupt into laughter as I try to soldier through the rest of the interview. The attention spans are going the way of the Native Americans at this point.)
Well, one of the nice things about this one is that it gives a different perspective of the Mayflower expedition – one from the viewpoint of the children and what it was like to be a child on the Mayflower.
Ava: (Still laughing) Sorry.
That’s ok. Can you imagine what it must have been like in the Mayflower like Charlie Brown and the gang?
Cal: It would be very, very, very, very…
Ava: DANGEROUS!
Cal: You stole my thunder!
(The basket goes flying through the air. I ignore this, sensing an end nearing.)
It was dangerous and scary. Can you imagine what it must have been like sailing on a small ship not knowing where you were going?
Ava: What if in Disney World there was a ride in that ship???
Cal: There is a ride.
Ava: Really?
Cal: Yeah, it’s the Maelstrom, which was kind of like the Mayflower.
No (audible sigh). That ride has nothing to do with the Mayflower. It takes place in Norway.
Ava: Like Frozen!
Yes, like Frozen.
Ava: I like Frozen better than Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving.
Cal: You like Frozen better than you like me.
Ava: That’s true.
So, to wrap up, you’ll keep watching the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving specials because you find they have timeless lessons to teach. Am I summing that up right?
Cal: Yup, and I think Charlie Brown must have chugged some alcohol [after the events of the original episode].
I think I need to chug some alcohol right now.
Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and The Mayflower Voyagers will air Tuesday, November 24, on ABC at 8PM EST.
Fox’s Scream Queens is the love it or hate it sensation of the Fall TV season. In a year where most new shows have disappointed, Ryan Murphy’s ode to horror camp has completely delivered on what it promised to be: a trashy camp fest where the body count is surpassed only by the one-liners. To honor that feat, here’s a handy listing of our favorites to keep you warm as we head into an off-week thanks to the World Series.
Scream Queens returns with new episodes on November 3.
13. “We have a side boob mixer, followed by a white party, where everyone is encouraged to be / wear white.” Gigi (Nasim Pedrad)
12. “I love all that death stuff. I got my first boner watching Faces of Death.” Chad Radwell (Glen Powell)
11. “Wow. Those cotton balls do not provide much energy, do they?” Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd)
10. “Look, Chanel, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m sort of over this whole ‘serial murderer’ thing that’s going on right now. Last night, I had an amazing threesome with Roger and Dodger, and I realized that I’d rather focus my attention this semester on getting spit-roasted by hot golf frat twins than help you figure out who’s murdering a bunch of dumb gashes!” Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin)
9. “I’m sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt? Nobody likes a suck-up, Chanel #5.” Chanel (Emma Roberts)
8. “I’m as skinny as Karen Carpenter in the morgue and Chad Radwell still won’t commit to me. I may die at the end of a serial killer’s blade but I refuse to die hungry.” Chanel (Emma Roberts)
7. “I will avenge your face stabbing, baby girl!” Denise Hemphill (Niecy Nash)
6. “OK look, I was waiting to talk to you about this because secretly I was hoping you’d be killed and I wouldn’t have to hurt your feelings. I just don’t think it would work out with us. You’re nuts. And not like a typical crazy-ass co-ed but ‘wake up with my penis in a jar’ lunatic. Now that puts me in a tough spot because that also means you’d be the screw of my life. I mean that kind of insanity means your muffin is like Space Mountain levels of fun. I love Space Mountain. Best ride at Disneyland. But I love my penis more.” Chad Radwell (Glen Powell)
5. “That’s my sister and she’s no bitch. But I am.” Chanel (Emma Roberts)
4. “Everybody wants to get with this. Women. Men. Animals at the zoo. Plants probably.” Chad Radwell (Glen Powell)
3. “I’m going to kill you now.” “Wait whaaaaa.” Text conversation between the Red Devil and Chanel #2 (Ariana Grande)
2. “Hey, Jennifer, could you hop off the spectrum for just a second?” Chanel (Emma Roberts)
1. “I love boning girls all over this great land, but, at the end of the day, I really just want to bone one special girl. I just didn’t think that girl was you, because, obviously, there’s so much wrong with you. But, then, I think about the good things about you, like how gullible you are and how rich your dad is; and when I think about that girl — the really rich one who’s easy to trick — I think she’s pretty special too.” Chad Radwell (Glen Powell)
Extant, CBS’s pricey space/alien drama, died on Friday, October 9, 2015. It was two seasons old. Even though the promise of Halle Berry running around confused for an entire 13 episodes seemed like a great idea (what’s better than seeing a beloved Oscar-winner getting some hysterical cardio?), the show never fully formed an identity. Well, it formed one, and then scrapped it after the first season. It is survived by every CSI incarnation that ever was.
The idea of Extant must have seemed really great on paper. It had Steven Spielberg’s stamp on it, and Berry, an actress in dire need of a good role, landed the lead as an astronaut who may or may not have brought something back with her from her mission from space. This future promised us more than hover boards from Back to the Future II. It had android kids. It had sleek production design. It had Camryn Manheim in an actual speaking role. Camryn Manheim, people!
Oh, the plot? Um…well, it was a bit trickier. Berry’s Molly Sims couldn’t have a baby, but she found herself unexpectedly pregnant when she returned from orbit (thanks a lot, NuvaRing!). The space program, led by Michael O’Neill, was trying to cover up the conspiracy and thwarted Molly at every turn. Someone needs to cut O’Neill a break, by the way. First he shot up Seattle Grace, and then he was tasked from keeping Berry from learning the truth. He did so much mustache twirling that you thought he was trying out for Snidely Whiplash biopic.
The first season of Extant ended with an alien baby running amok (I sure hope the working title was Not Without My Alien Baby!), and her android son being used in an anti-robot uprising. Really. When the second season started, all that mattered was her husband, played by Goran Visnjic, was nowhere to be found. What happened to him? I can’t remember. What I do remember is that Berry had more chemistry with that carton of ice cream at the end of Monster’s Ball than she did with Visnjic. What was worse: the title of this series or the notion of spending another torturous 44 minutes watching them act their way through a marriage? It’s a toss up.
So, who survives this Extant demise? Berry will no doubt find a project, and Pierce Gagnon (who played her son) will easily find something else to fill his schedule. When it comes to outer space dramas, we should look no further than our local movie theater. Never fear, everyone! CBS does have some quality shows coming back soon. You know, like Zoo.
There will be no viewings for Extant, because, you know, no one watched it in the first place.
ABC’s Blood & Oil premiered Sunday night, filling the void left behind by other ABC dramas like Revenge (RIP). The show is pretty harmless fun, the enjoyable sudsy series ABC is known for on Sunday nights.
But despite B&O’s original premise involving a young couple moving to North Dakota during America’s greatest oil boom, this show’s writers clearly have watched their share of Days of Our Lives and General Hospital. The first episode is riddled with soap opera cliches.
A car accident for no apparent reason.
En route to their dream of opening a laundromat in North Dakota (yes, really), Cody (Rebecca Rittenhouse) and Billy (Chace Crawford) suddenly get into an accident, throwing all of their laundromat essentials into the air!
Were one of those truck drivers in the wrong? Or was Billy stupidly traveling down a two-lane road in the wrong direction? We’ll never know.
Sex on a stack of money!
Wick Briggs (Scott Michael Foster) and Jules Jackman (India de Beaufort) figure out the exchange rate right on the table!
The Evil Father Figure
Think of Don Johnson’s Hap Briggs as the Victor Kiriakis of the show, for you Days of Our Lives fans. He’s the most powerful man in town. . .and possibly the most evil?
Cody’s not feeling well. . .
As soon as Cody said she had been feeling sick lately, I hoped/prayed she wasn’t going to be pregnant. Not because I’m against these two kids becoming parents (although I am), but the pregnancy was so obvious, and I was hoping for something a little more original (given the unique setting).
Another accident for no apparent reason (same person)
After Billy wheels and deals to get a piece of land, he races to the owner’s house to provide payment, crashing his car almost immediately. And this guy wants to use the land to put a “car wash” on it.
Man carrying the woman across the threshold
Soap opera couples always do this.
HBO is about to get a whole lot fuzzier. It was announced today that Sesame Street will air its next five seasons on HBO. Yes, you heard that correctly. The family-oriented program that taught everyone about their ABC’s will air on the same premium network channel that brought us Carrie Bradshaw strutting around Manhattan and The Red Wedding. It’s not entirely unusual for HBO to dabble in children’s entertainment – they aired Fraggle Rock in the 1980s – but it is bizarre to consider the PBS staple a stable of a premium cable network.
To celebrate this bizarre move, I have compiled the 8 Sesame Street crossovers that we need right away.
Zoe & Abby on Girls
Over the past few seasons, Girls has opened up the conversation to what it is like to be a millennial living in New York City. The show has its haters and its die-hard fans, but they can all agree that the show has headed into some really serious territory. Perhaps Zoe and Abby will remind the foursome to just lighten up a bit. Or, at the very least, engage in some girl-on-girl action, Street-style.
Snuffy on Veep
While Selina Meyer’s political affiliation isn’t said completely out loud, a lot of people identify her as a Republican. If Selina runs for a second term (you know, after all this tying business is over and done with), she could use a huge, fluffy icon to bring more voters on her side. I mean, it is a hairy elephant, right?
Cookie Monster on Silicon Valley
The more these guys build a technological empire, the more they need Mr. Monster to provide them with some much needed munchies during their down time. Think about it though, a stoned Erlich Bachman and Cookie Monster… not that different right? Even puppets get the munchies.
Grover on Togetherness
I wanted to place my personal favorite Sesame Street character on a show where he would definitely be safe. Sure, Togetherness has its familial/mumblecore drama, but you know Grover would be able to bring everyone down a notch. He can be high-strung himself, though, so I think we all need to see him get into a screaming match with Amanda Peet, am I right?
The Count on Game of Thrones
He has a cape. He has a castle. It’s perfect, right? If True Blood was still on the air, he would be able to guest on both shows. Next time there’s a massacre, he would be able to provide an accurate body count. “Nine! Nine dead Starks! Ah, ah, ah!”
Bert & Ernie on Looking
Easy joke, yes, but it’d be great to see the pair wandering around the background of Folsom while Jonathan Groff is being obnoxious and adorable. Plus, surely SOMEONE on Looking could do something about Bert’s tragic unibrow.
Elmo & Big Bird on True Detective
No one liked season 2 of True Detective. This is a fact. Why not change up the tone with two of Sesame’s most beloved and sweet characters? Maybe they won’t go on a cocaine binge or get chased around the woods by men with shotguns (Follow That Bird reboot?), but they could solve the mysterious crime of a rubber ducky kingpin going missing. Unless, being HBO, an orgy is required. That could be interesting…
Oscar on The Jinx: The Lives and Deaths of a Grouch
‘Nuff said.