There comes a day in every man-dressed-as-a-woman’s life when she’s challenged to channel a ‘90s rapper. And in the “Oh No She Betta Don’t” episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” that day was today.
If “The Snatch Game” episode is the Oscars of Drag Race episodes, the “Library is Open” episode is the Golden Globes, a close second in drag theatrics. The best part about the “Reading” episode is that no books are involved. The only thing that gets cracked are jokes at the expense of other drag queens, peppered with dramatic falsetto Ooohs.
Bianca Del Rio, who delivers some serious shade every week, came out swinging in the “Reading is Fundamental” challenge, where queens berate each other in the most fantastic sense possible—with puns and dragitude.
“After seeing you in drag,” Bianca said to BenDeLaCreme, “I realize why Seattle has a high suicide rate.” She followed up with this scathing indictment on Adore’s idiocy: “I know what you got on your SATs. Ketchup.” Joslyn Fox also threw a shot toward Adore’s flightiness: “You know you’re from the West Coast because it’s a three-hour delay before you finally get a joke.” Oooooooo
Trinity took a look in the mirror when it came to throwing shade, making fun of her own hair extensions. “If you can’t read yourself,” she said, “how the hell you gonna read someone else?”
Ooooooooo (Although if she really wanted to make fun of herself, she would address the fact that every week she tells Ru, “I’m not that kind of queen,” with whatever challenge is thrown at her).
Darienne Lake, who was gunning for two-time challenge winner BenDeLaCreme, ended up winning the Library event, even if her Adore slam was kind of uninspired (speaking extra slow so Adore would understand what she was saying? Who knew joking could be so fundamental?).
Because Darienne won, Ru elected her captain for the next event—a ‘90s rap battle royale. If you were dreaming of a TLC re-imagining, your dreams came true with this challenge. For her team, The Panty Hos, Darienne picked Courtney, Adore, Bianca, and Laganja. Darienne assembled the other team, The Ru Tang Clan, which consisted of Trinity, Jocelyn, Milk, and BenDeLaCreme. The queens had to come up with their own 90’s rap for a video for the song “Oh No She Better Don’t.”
When The Panty Hos hit the stage for their portion of the video, they were greeted by guest judges Eve and Trina. Bianca set the tone off strong, but then Laganja faltered and forgot her words. Darienne, sporting a large…let’s call it trash bag dress…totally bombed. She knew this challenge would not be her forte, and she even commented on it: “I’m a white lady from the suburbs, so when it comes to street cred…” Her rap was definitely more of a “misdemeanor” than Missy Elliot (Ooooo!). Adore Delano is not a favorite of ours, but she really stepped up in this challenge. She was slaying some TLC hand gestures along with her quick and sassy rap.
When The Ru Tang Clan got their turn, one would think that Trinity K. Bonet would take some of the judge’s critiques in regards to challenges. Well, you’d be wrong. When she stood up to perform her rap, she announced a disclaimer that she was going to mess up the first take. (Way to make a good first impression.) You also couldn’t really hear what she was saying. Everyone would have benefited from Trinity’s rap being broadcast on Pop Up Video. Trinity looked perfect, though. She had a Rihanna-meets-Pepa thing going on. Milk was her eccentric self in the rap, performing the strange lyrics, “If you’re looking for a dude, or you’re in a preggers mood,” which actually wasn’t the weirdest thing she’d done thus far in the competition. While BenDeLaCreme didn’t really start strong, she pulled it off by the end.
This week’s runway look was titled CrazySexyCool, and the queens were told to showcase their favorite body part. Jocelyn Fox came out wearing a swimsuit-chandelier thing that left very little to the imagination. (Eat your heart out, Courtney Act.) Speaking of Miss Act, she shimmied out wearing a bed duvet, and, upon ripping it off, revealed her flawless body. Oh. That’s right. She’s the hot one. It’s getting to be a snooze, Courtney (RuPaul even commented during the critiques: “It’s a cliche, but you’re resting on pretty. Don’t be a cliche, my dear). Trinity, dressed as a hippie and showing off her impressive six pack, always has an excuse, and this was the second episode where she grew defensive about being a “lip sync” performer. It seemed that Ru had had enough, and she cut Trinty off near the end of her explanation. Milk went glam for the first time on the runway, and she looked like Daryl Hannah from Splash, complete with a mermaid gown and a huge bow on her head. The judges read her, though, for her outfit not looking as put together as they would expect in season 6.
Adore Delano, despite being read for her dress’ lack of length, won the challenge. Trinity’s defense wasn’t strong enough and she landed in the bottom two. It appeared that Darienne Lake would join her, but Ru surprised us by placing Milk in Trinity’s company. Milk was far from being our favorite queen, but Darienne should have had to lip sync. Trinity and Milk performed to Salt-n-Pepa’s “Whatta Man,” and their styles of performing were so clear,Trinity slow and sensual and Milk high energy. Trinity was declared safe, and Milk sashayed away to a line that was classic RuPaul: “My dear, Milk. You’ve consistently shown us that you can think outside the carton.”
Shade of the Week:
“Wide and sassy? That was my name in prison.” – Bianca
“She’s overthinking. She’s thinking about a sandwich.” – Bianca, on Darienne’s performance during the main challenge
“You’ve heard the phrase ‘two left feet.’ Some of my girls got no feet.” – Trinity
Lip Sync For Your Life:
Trinity K. Bonet versus Milk to “Whatta Man” by Salt-n-Pepa
Shantay You Stay: Trinity K. Bonet
Sashay Away: Milk