Deadline tonight breaks a bizarre report that the Academy Board of Governors apparently discussed cramming the entire awards season into a densely packed carry-on bag. I hope they also tossed around the idea of changing the name from Oscar Night to Oscar Nightmare:
…the elite panel discussed moving up the 2011 Oscars to sometime in January. You read that right — JANUARY! This would be a shocking change, not just because the ABC telecast would conflict (or is it more like outfox?) NBC’s competing Golden Globes broadcast. But also because it would condense the already chaotic (and we all agree idiotic) Top 10 Best Picture nominations period, as well as dramatically alter how the studios time the release of their movies.
In other news the Board of Governors discussed combining the 3 biggest money-making national holidays into one convenient superholiday. Happy Hallothanksmas! Because yeah, the main concern in staging a grand celebration is just to get it over with as quickly as possible, right?
Why not move the whole slippery ceremony to an undisclosed location like the Honorary Oscars? Is New Year’s Eve convenient for everybody? This scheme is so unwieldy it’s hard to think of any way to respond except to wince at the absurdity. Nikki Finke has more patience to analyze the insanity than I do:
Here’s why this is nuts: with so many films coming out those last days of December, it leaves even less time for AMPAS members to see the movies they’ll nominate. It also means the studios will have to get DVDs into voters’ hands that much sooner, maybe even a month or two before the actual movies open, which would only make the piracy risks that much greater.
However, tonight’s discussion would explain why AMPAS President Tom Sherak was moving so quickly to lock down the Academy Awards producers, director, and soon-to-be host. (83rd Oscar Telecast Producers Announced)
Also, from a logistical standpoint, no institution utilizes technology less than AMPAS. “There’s a ZERO percent chance that the Executive team can figure out how to logistically coordinate voting that soon, especially with all the old people who don’t do electronic mail,” one of my sources tells me. “And especially because [executive director] Bruce Davis won’t do anything that utilizes technology.”
But don’t get me started on Davis, who continues to be more a hindrance than a help at the Academy. How that guy keeps his job I’ll never know. For instance, his most recent idea was that museum project which is now on hold after AMPAS spent millions of dollars of money they hadn’t even been raised yet to purchase real estate from people at premium prices because of decisions made by Davis.
I only wonder what the hell has the Board of Governors squirming so restllessly that they suddenly want to overhaul and bastardize 83 years of tradition? I’ll admit, the BFCA Broadcast was unexpectedly horrifying for a host of ghastly reasons, but it’s fairly embarrassing to see the Academy flail around in a panic over a few surplus awards pretenders.