The big names were in attendance last night at the Special Screening for Gladiator II. They were so confident in the movie they allowed for instant reactions on Twitter. That’s always a good sign. The reactions were, more or less, what I thought they’d be – they loved it, but they were hesitant to start proclaiming it an “Oscar movie.” GOOD. No one said Top Gun Maverick was an Oscar movie, either. WE MADE IT INTO ONE by changing the definition of what makes an “Oscar movie.”
What is an “Oscar movie”? A good movie. It dares greatly, openly, and defiantly. It can please a crowd, or it can please Dave Ehrlich. It can do either or. It can do both. We’re no longer in the place where we’re aiming, always, for Chocolat. No. We’re not even looking for “Oscar movies” anymore. We’re trying to save Hollywood.
If you want to save Hollywood, help make Gladiator II so successful that no one walks away, calling it a cautionary tale. High on ambition, American filmmaking is at its finest- this is what we do, people. This is what we do — Gladiator is made for audiences, not for critics. I say this even though I did not attend the screening. I was invited, which makes me feel like Marsha Mason at the end of The Goodbye Girl; at least they asked, and that was enough.
I was grateful to read the hot takes and the praise, even if they came from a hive-mind experience with Denzel in the room — DENZEL IN THE ROOM. I’ll take it. The days of shaming the junket whores for their lavish praise are over. Bring on the junket whores. We need them now more than ever. We need all the hype. We need all of the energy generated when a crowd of sycophants and film snobs alike gather to marinate in the glory of everything Hollywood used to offer all of us.
I can already hear Critical Drinker’s positive review in my head, even though he hasn’t seen it. I know he’s going to love this, but who wouldn’t? It’s a non-woke movie with lots of blood and guts, and the one thing Hollywood has been missing lately is MEN. Men, in all of their muscular glory. I can’t wait. It could be a jumbled mess. It could be Aquaman, and I’d still love it if I could see it unseen.
I will see this movie just for Denzel Washington. I will love this movie just for Denzel Washington. I will save my comparisons to modern-day America and the collapse of the Roman Empire until I do see it, but the irony should
There will be lots of “will it make it into the Oscar race” talk. And here is how we should respond to that:
You will make Oscar voters vote for this movie. You will make them. I started my site when the first Gladiator won Best Picture, and what a difference 25 years makes. I, along with the rest of the Oscar bloggers, have helped to ruin Hollywood by making every movie accommodate the opinions of a group of people who sit in the First Class section of the airplane. Even if that demo has changed, they’re still people whose interests in life are very different from those of the average filmgoer. The Oscars NEED Gladiator II. Hollywood needs it. It cannot fail.
It will stand tall, right beside Dune II and Sing Sing. It will stand tall, respectably, deserving to be in the same room with The Brutalist. I will hear none of the talk that it doesn’t belong. IT DOES. I don’t even have to see it to know that. It needs every person who works for Paramount now, or who ever worked for Paramount, to put it at number one. All friends of Denzel, too. Make that phone call. Call in that favor. Don’t futz around and pretend your vote matters. It doesn’t. Hollywood matters. The Oscars need Gladiator II more than Gladiator II needs the Oscars. Help save yourselves by placing this film at number one.
There is always an inclination to over-analyze a film like this. That misses the point. No one cares. This is your RMS Carpathia sailing through freezing waters to pick up the wreckage and last known survivors. GET ON THE SHIP.
Here are some Tweet reax from the web. I think I give the top prize to Will Mavity for the best post-film analysis, with Jillian Chili winning points for good writing.
