I am so grateful that a Jonathan Kahn exists. You can count on one hand the people who are more or less on the Left but who aren’t so Trump-deranged that they’ve lost their minds, and also aren’t likely to be so weak-minded as to become a cowardly conformist. Credit goes to The Hollywood Reporter (who killed my career with a hit piece, condemning me as a thought criminal) at least trying to evolve out of the doomsday bunker Hollywood has become.
Kahn’s writing is crystal clear, honest, brave and funny. He first wrote Bring Back the Hollywood Asshole, which ruffled more than a few feathers but rained down on all of this bland sameness like a hot rain. Now he’s back with “Maybe Paramount-Warner SHOULD Leave L.A.”
If Paramount–Warner Bros. leaves L.A., it’ll be game over for Hollywood. But David Ellison’s newly merged studios will be fine. Better than fine. Nobody in Burbank actually likes Burbank anyway.
The infrastructure moves. You can throw up a soundstage in Atlanta or New Jersey, or in a decommissioned ice cream factory outside Austin. The lots get sold, and Mayor Karen Bass rebuilds them for the homeless at $2 million per unit. The executive class transfers, same as any corporate move, and they will discover the scientific phenomenon called “weather.” The deals? Vaporware. Contracts and e-signatures floating in a cloud, which is to say a server farm in Virginia that has never heard of Erewhon.
He’s right, of course, and isn’t afraid to speak the truth, with zingers like “Everyone who actually works in this business wants this resolved, except for the writer who fears David Ellison will never buy their screenplay Luigi Mangione in Love.” Meaning, most people except Mark Ruffalo and the Trump deranged are ready to see Hollywood revived and thriving.
Those who have merged politics with Hollywood – like George Clooney, Ruffalo, and all those who need their image and goodness affirmed – are the ones who want to see Hollywood shrink to only their perfectly curated utopian diorama that pushes the “correct” message. They should just go into politics and leave and art and entertainment alone. When you have the loudest voices telling you the other half of the country must comply and conform, or they’re not welcome, it’s time to clean the slate.
They’re angry that one studio merger — as opposed to all of the other mergers we’ve seen over time — will dare to step out of line and offer something different, controversial, challenging or maybe just wildly crowd-pleasing. Someone has to shake the tree. It has to be done. Time to clean house an let a counterculture rise.
In other words, Hollywood needs Paramount more than Paramount needs Hollywood.
The trades should also clean house or at least hire some writers who aren’t 100% in the tribe. Shake things up a little bit. Isn’t it time to move on? One can only hope.
