It’s ironic that “Hashtag FOMO” follows last week’s “Knockoffs” episode of Broad City, which surely serves as an iconic moment for the show (where else can you get a “The More You Know” about pegging?). While this week’s episode was standard BC fare, one couldn’t help but wonder whether you were watching a 7 when you’d already seen a 10.
The good news is: That’s OK. Not every episode can be top-notch. All in all, this has been a great second season for the series (stronger than its bro-tastic lead-in, in my opinion).
The episode starts with Abbi and Ilana Skyping, with the former revealing big news: She’d gotten a nose ring the night before! While it’s kind of 2004, Ilana’s a little jealous because all she did last night was get her life in order, redoing all of her boob buttons on her shirts and taking the remnants of joints to make one super blunt. Ilana is upset she missed out on Abbi’s nose ring and comes down with a serious case of FOMO (“Fear of missing out, Grandma?”), so she decides they’re going to party tonight.
The New Girl
At Soulstice, there’s a new girl that’s going to be a cleaner like Abbi. Trey comes bounding down the stairs and fake fires Abbi like Donald Trump and then says “Bazinga” (not “Cha-chinga”), which Abbi doesn’t understand (obviously she’s not a Big Bang fan).
Then, Soulstice trainer Gemma also comes bounding down the stairs, telling Abbi they have to dish. Apparently one of the cleaners got a nose ring. (Is it 2004?) After discovering Abbi’s that cleaner, Gemma asks if she’s going to Trey’s off-the-damn-chain party tonight. Abbi doesn’t plan on it, but according to Gemma, Trey thinks of Abbi as one of his best friends. He talks about her all the time! Looks like Abbi’s going to have to make a cameo, especially if she can talk Trey into letting her become a trainer.
At Deals Deals Deals, Ilana gets off the phone and sees that no one is in the office. Apparently, everyone has ventured to the conference room, b-storming deals for the Hell’s Kitchen area. After some mental wrestling with a classical music soundtrack, Todd lets a restless Ilana go home, only because she closed that pube straightening deal earlier in the day.
The Narnia of Parties
Later, at Trey’s party, which features a slew of bicycles outside of his apartment door, Abbi and Ilana learn that Trey is rather lame and has no friends. The only people who are there are Gemma, some other gym rats, and the new girl. They think they’re the first to arrive at his party, only to discover they’re the last. Ilana wants to leave. Immediately. But Abbi implores her to stick it out.
Ilana ends up being cornered by Gemma, who asks her if she’s ever straightened her hair.
“I just did that for work actually. Do you mean my head hair?” – Ilana
After some begging, Ilana finally convinces Abbi to give up on this party before they pop in the DVDs and do trustfalls. So when Trey Wassups his way into the kitchen, Abbi tells him she has a tapeworm in her butt and has to leave (“She’s such a riot!”). Trey can see how this would happen, since Abbi ate four and a half Luna bars the other day.
So Abbi and Ilana venture to another party, this one at Jaime’s. But shortly after Abbi takes a Valencia pic and puts it on the Gram, Ilana forces them to leave because the hottest person at the party is leaving, which means this party is crashing fast.
Next, they head to Lincoln’s place and Lincoln is excited to see them, but sad they missed him doing the worm (although Abbi could show him the tapeworm). Ilana eventually makes them leave this party because it’s dead—a woman is sniffling her nose and coming down with a cold.
Ilana announces they are on the lookout for the Narnia of parties. But suddenly Trey is calling Abbi, and because the Soulstice cleaner is tech challenged, she accidentally answers it. Trey wants to know why she has a photo of herself at a party on Instagram when she’s supposed to be at the hospital for a tapeworm. Lincoln gets on the phone as her doctor and describes the tapeworm in her anus, and Abbi feigns being in the hospital.
Leaving Lincoln, the ladies head to a roof party, where Ilana finally finds her elusive 10. She does a cartwheel (sans underwear, of course—blurred for our protection) and dances on the rooftop with glow sticks. But Abbi is starting to get sloppy, causing a guy on stilts to fall and disrupting a baby pool with two straight dudes making out. Soon, the cops come and break up the roof party, and everyone is forced to exit.
“Val Bar is Narnia!”
Just when you think it’s time to call it a night, the ladies head into an old-timey Gatsby-ish club where everyone says “Val!” to Abbi like she’s Norm on Cheers. Abbi refers to this as “Val Bar.”
Apparently, when Abbi gets blackout drunk, she sings like Judy Garland (“C’mon Get Happy”) and becomes the life of the party (they save on electric bills because she lights up the room!). Ilana is shocked to see her best friend blowing smoke rings and singing on stage, and learns that Abbi’s been coming here for at least 100 years (well, more like 3). However, the ultimate feat: Abbi takes out her nose ring and swallows it.
“Val Bar is Narnia!” – Ilana
The next morning, the ladies are hungover at a diner, and of course, Abbi doesn’t remember any of last night’s events, specifically when Val came out. Ilana is shocked she remembers nothing—none of the singing, dancing. None of it. While a star was born last night, now it’s time for Abbi to get to her day job. She hails a cab and heads straight to work, but not before the cab comes to a screeching halt and the door opens. Abbi vomits up her nose ring.
Back at Soulstice, Abbi discovers the new girl was promoted. Apparently, she and Trey got drunk last night at the party and she asked him if she could become a trainer. If only Trey would have seen the way Val commands a room!
What did you think of “Hashtag FOMO”? Do you think Trey will ever promote Abbi? And should Abbi Jacobson be in line to play Judy Garland in a biopic (girl can sing)?