Drag Race: Don’t Put Queenie in a Corner

We are almost finished with the season! Fans of the show are thirsty to see who is going to take the crown, and haters of this season (you know who you are…) are hoping all these queens go away for good! This week proves one very important thing: some drag queens shouldn’t dance. At all.

RuPaul's DragRace cast season 7 episode 10 Fake Housewives of RuPaul's Drag Race

For this week’s mini challenge, the girls have to give themselves “cosmetic surgery.” Just when you think the budget of season seven has gotten out of hand, one realizes that they are doing that super immature thing where you put tape all over your face to make yourself look silly. This episode cost just $12. Yes, it’s the Fake Housewives of RuPaul’s Drag Race. They are given 20 minutes to tape their faces (an entire 20 minutes to do something that I mastered as an 8 year-old camper!), and they film a short Housewives-esque opening that should reassure everyone that they aren’t missing anything with those crappy reality programs (“What’s the best thing about being married to a sociopath? The constant threat of danger keeps you soooo thin!” declares Katya in fully taped glam mode).

For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens are paired together for a dancing challenge. Are they ever going to have a challenge where they are judged individually from the get go? Just thought I’d throw that out there. Ru informs the girls that they will be performing mash-ups (like the Charleston Twerk) of different styles of music while they are decked out in “half drag.” Essentially they will be performing as four different people. Each one will be dressed up as half man/half woman. Ru calls it, “Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde Your Candy,” and cue the Sean Young excitement! Since Violet won the mini challenge, she pairs the girls. She chooses Katya as her partner and puts Pearl with Kennedy and Ginger with Trixie.

During rehearsal, Katya asks Violet if she’s ever tangoed. Her response? “It’s like…Spanish!” Katya even throws a True Lies reference her way, and she still doesn’t get it! Send her home!  In every pairing, there seems to be one person who is more terrified than the other. Ask drag queens to do Dancing with the Stars level choreography, and you’ll see their pupils get as big as their ambitions. Violet does better when she and Katya meet up with DWTS’ Kym Johnson. They are performing the “Vogue Tango,” and Violet has the arm movements down, but Katya seems like a fish out of water. Kennedy has the dance training, but Pearl couldn’t twerk her way out of an oyster. When it comes to Trixie and Ginger, well, let’s just say Ginger is feeling the pressure. Trixie can nail the choreography, but the plus-sized frontrunner is starting to sweat. Is Trixie being a little more pointed since Ginger overshadowed her last week?

When the ladies (and gents) strut down the runway, it’s shocking how great all of them look. There’s a lot of painted on beards, but it’s the strongest runway of the entire season. Pearl’s double look will make any gay guy or lady weak in the knees.

The dancing actually had me yelling, “I love this challenge!” repeatedly in my living room. No wonder everyone was freaking out. These dances are LONG, but the split drag is enough to make anyone lose their mind. Everyone did an amazing job, but Violet and Pearl were the standouts. It was almost as if Violet has been preparing to Vogue like Madonna his entire short life, and Pearl infused enough sexy energy to keep up with dance trained Kennedy. If there was a weak team, it’d have to be Ginger and Trixie. Country dancing just doesn’t go with The Robot, so this duo had the hardest time. I’ve seen better choreography in the Scranton community theater production of Oklahoma!

When it comes to the judges’ critiques, they have their work cut out for them. Guest judge Alyssa Milano seems to love everyone (especially Violet), and Rachael Harris told Katya that she was a “hot, douchey guy.” Violet and Katya win the challenge together (why do they keep awarding pairs?!), and Kennedy’s twerking and Pearl’s exuberance make them safe as well. Trixie and Ginger have to face off to “Show Me Love” by Robin S. Ginger lands on top (are you that surprised?), and Trixie is told to sashay away. Again. Cue the hysterics from fans on Twitter.

Of the queens that are left, who will be in the top 3? Can Pearl pull off the biggest turnaround in Drag Race herstory and grab a spot? Can Ginger Minj really be taken down? How many times can they bring Trixie Mattel back before we all stop watching?

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