EmmyWatch: Of Snubs and Spoilers

For the record I have never (regrettably) lived on the shores of America, nor am I an expert in its realm of television. I am, however, invested enough to have the passion for, and a fairly good knowledge of, the medium. With the Emmy nominations just a couple of days away, rather than make myself look a TV novice, I took to the streets to ask the regular people their views on the potential omissions from the nominations and who might surprise us by showing their face.


SNUB?   American Horror Story: Freak Show   “It was just too much for me. I didn’t mind the haunted house one, the prison one, or even the one with the witches and Kathy Bates’ talking head, but this is just a freak show now. Plus, ain’t nobody even asked me to be in it, and I got a third nipple.”

SNUB?   Killing Jesus   “The title alone I would say, very controversial. Good thing he came back for a sequel.”

SPOILER?   Gracepoint   “Really loved the first season of Broadchurch, so powerful, so emotional. But this is the American version, and I want to be patriotic. Though in truth, Gracepoint was piss poor.”

SNUB?   David Oyelowo (Nightingale)   “If the film academy can do it then so can the television academy.”

SPOILER?   Stephen Merchant (Hello Ladies The Movie)   “If Ricky Gervais can do it then so can his comedy writing partner.”

SNUB?   Jessica Lange (American Horror Story: Freak Show)   “Because enough is enough now. I hear in American Horror Story: Sexy Ghost, Lange will be playing a bed-side lamp and will still be nominated.”

SPOILER?   Yaya Dacosta (Whitney)   “Woman director for one. Black director for two. Plus, if you can’t appreciate the life of Whitney Houston, we have a problem. Because I will always love her. Yes, I. I will. I will always love her.”

SNUB?   Damian Lewis (Wolf Hall)   “With the High Sparrow also in this show and hotly tipped, they could split votes. One big drawback, no wolves.”

SNUB?   Sarah Paulson (American Horror Story: Freak Show)   “Two heads is not always better than one.”

SPOILER?   Abigail Lawrie (The Casual Vacancy)   “In all seriousness, not as well known as Michael Gambon for sure, but bottom line she is the best thing in this.”


SNUB?   Downton Abbey   “Aren’t we a little tired of seeing that opening of the dog being walked. Though the poor dog did pass away, it was a rather sudden decision by the production team given the association with the name Isis. I can’t wait until next year when Lord Grantham drags her corpse along the green on a leash.”

SPOILER?   Bloodline   “Emmy liked Kyle Chandler in Friday Night Lights. They liked Linda Cardellini in Mad Men. They liked Sam Shepard in Dash and Lilly. They liked Sissy Spacek in The Good Old Boys. Plus, it is Netflix. Very tasty ingredients. Wait, what was the question?”

SNUB?   Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul)   “He is just too funny in this. Surely they will forget it’s a drama. Though that scene when he kicks the door closed and almost breaks down. Nice. I’m not sure now, it’s confusing. Was he on meth?”

SPOILER?   Jamie Dornan (The Fall)   “He may have weird sexual methodology, his American acting might suck, but he is rather captivating as a killer in Northern Ireland. No, really.”

SNUB?   Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)   “She makes me want to watch classic old episodes of E.R. but she has no room on her shelves at home for another Emmy. Take a year off Julianna, you’ve earned it. Plus, she gave me crabs.”

SNUB?   Jonathan Banks (Better Call Saul)   “It would be upsetting if the incredible Mike was not nominated, given a fleshed out narrative and screen time – which he fills expertly. If Emmy does not simply go for Saul then he could be out too.”

SPOILER?   Michael McKean (Better Call Saul)   “Is it unthinkable that Chuck could get in? There is no doubt he was great in the show. But can Emmy forgive him for what he did to Saul? His own brother! Worse things have happened.”

SNUB?   Lena Headley (Game of Thrones)   “So that was a body double the whole time? Why would she deserve an Emmy nomination for that? Sure, sure, she was pretty much flawless and had a great range to work with the entire season. Oh what, so Emmys are about good work now? If you want a nomination, then show me your boobs. Real boobs.”

SPOILER?   Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)   “There’s nothing like a supporting cast member of a snubbed regular to shake things up a bit. Plus, Archie is very decent in this and is in the mix of some of the juicy story-lines.”


SNUB?   Veep   “Politics? Boo!”

SPOILER?   Shameless   “Shagging? Yeah!”

SNUB?   Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)   “Is he not too humanized now Amy has her claws in him? We want robot Sheldon back. And he is not getting an Emmy nod until we do.”

SPOILER?   Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)   “Honestly, one of my favorite comedy shows around. I, too, was one of the few who was not surprised when he and the show scooped Golden Globe wins last year. Could it repeat here? Did I mention Saturday Night Live?”

SNUB?   Amy Schumer (Inside Amy Schumer)   “Too funny. Too talented. Too empowering. Too current. Too fat.”

SPOILER?   Mindy Kaling (The Mindy Project)   “It’s now or never, Kelly Kapoor.”

SPOILER?   Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation)   “What’s not to like? A very busy twelve months with the Lego, the talking tree, and the velociraptors. How does he even have a sense of humor after all of that? Plus, dreamy.”

SNUB?   Allison Janney (Mom)   “Not that funny, and who would want a mother like that?”

SPOILER?   Wendi McLendon-Covery (The Goldbergs)   “Very funny, and who would not want a mother like that?”

Author’s Note: Regarding the speaking to real people, I did nothing of the sort. This is mere fiction, an attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor disguising some possible snubs and spoilers come Thursday. Not all, I might add, my own opinion.

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