Silicon Valley ‘The Lady:’ The Beatles Get Their Yoko

Silicon Valley has often been accused of being “anti-woman,” since the only women on the show have been Monica (Amanda Crew), who’s probably the least interesting female character on television, and Laurie Bream (Suzanne Cryer), who’s more interesting than Monica, but gets less screentime.

But in “The Lady,” the show addresses this issue head on, by hiring a new developer in the form of caustically delightful engineer Carla Walton, who enjoys fucking with Gilfoyle and Dinesh as much as those two enjoy tormenting each other.

The episode opens with Richard and Jared interviewing developers, including prospects wishing to only work two hours a day to those looking for a dog-friendly pool with a lifeguard on duty. Jared asks the hard-hitting questions (“Are we to understand you did not ‘crush it’ in 2012?”) and the last prospective applicant, Jared Patakian, comes out as a cyborg to the two of them (he had a pacemaker installed). In addition to being fully stacked, he likes how weird Pied Piper is and wants to work with them despite being able to get more money elsewhere.

Richard wants to hire the cyborg, but Jared has some concerns, mainly that there would be two Jareds and it might get confusing. Should he go back to his original name (Donald)? When Erlich gets wind of them wanting to hire Patakian (after trying to teach Jian Yang about how to manage garbage versus recycling), he wants them to Pasa-dena on him. Erlich tried to hire him before for his startup, and the dude took his offer and shopped it around to other companies before passing.

Big Head Bags a Promotion

During Hooli’s XYZ presentation, Gavin makes an announcement. He’s putting Davis Bannercheck in charge of this initiative (played by Patrick Fischler, the hardest-working character actor in Hollywood), along with. . .Baghead. This comes after Gavin’s  decision last week to promote someone connected with Pied Piper, in order to make it look like the idea stemmed from Hooli.

Despite Bannercheck not seeming to like Baghead, there’s nothing Big Head can do. The deal is done. He has an assistant and a profile piece in Wired.

Back at Pied Piper’s HQ, Jared comes in with an idea.

“I think it would behoove us prioritizing hiring a woman.”

This comes after Carla Walton throws her hat into the ring of developer applicants, someone Dinesh and Gilfoyle had previously worked with. The guys are skeptical. Should they really hire a female engineer just to hire a woman?

Jared, who’s now being called “OJ” (as in the “Other Jared”), wants them to think of it differently.

“We’re the Beatles and now we just need Yoko,” says Jared.

“That’s the worst example you could have used,” Dinesh responds.

“Sadly That’s Just Jared”

Richard and Jared bring Carla in for an interview and it goes really well. Her blunt spunk combined with edgy haircut are a breath of fresh air compared to the unnerving cyborg. But Jared lets it slip that it’ll be great if they hire a woman.

“I’m not a woman engineer,” says Carla, slightly offended. “I’m an engineer.”

Jared backtracks, trying to fix things. Carla wonders aloud whether this is just an interview tactic, but she doesn’t know that negging is more of Erlich’s thing.

On her way out, Jared offers consolation: “I love The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

After the interview, Richard’s in the kitchen discussing the possible hire with Dinesh and company, when Erlich enters, bitching about narrow spoons versus wide spoons and how they fit into yogurt cups.

Richard knows that this conversation isn’t really about spoons, but about Erlich wanting power in the hiring process, specifically vetoing Jared Patakian.

Three-Comma Club

At a business meeting at Russ Hanneman’s, Monica, Richard, and Erlich convene to vote on new company issues, including hires Carla and Jared. Erlich admires one of Russ’ art pieces, asking whether it’s sperm on the wall (it’s really commas).

“You know what has three commas in it?” says Russ.

“A sentence that has more than two appositive phrases in it?” says Richard.

Nope. The answer is a billionaire, which Russ is. Russ is so privileged that he has a female cyborg called “The Lady” acting as a parent to his young son, Aspen, as a way to delegate the not-so-fun parenting duties like getting a kid to take a bath or even to take his medication (which sounds like something a parent should probably be there for).

During the meeting, Monica puts the new hires Carla Walton and Jared Patakian on the table. Does everyone approve? Everyone does, including Russ Hanneman, despite Erlich’s misgivings about the cyborg.

After all of the nitty-gritty business, Russ wants to talk about swag. He wants to throw $30,000 into merchandise like foam fingers and shit. Monica and Richard think this is stupid, but Erlich thinks it’s a great idea, only because it goes against what Richard wants. Erlich agrees to take on this idea, along with Russ’ tickets to a benefit dinner.

Cunty?

Carla’s going to be sitting next to Jared, the Cyborg. Dinesh asks if she’s OK with this.

“Does he fart a lot and smell like onions?” she asks.

“He is a coder,” admits Dinesh.

Then, Jared bounds into the room with Richard, and the Pied Piper CEO gives a speech on sexual harassment at work because he has to now.

Jared would like everyone to be a bit more sensitive (specifically not call him names) especially since there’s a woman in the room now. However, Carla throws Jared a curve ball. She has a best friend with the nickname “Cunty.” Can this woman still meet her for lunch? Jared says no. Carla counters that this is sexist, and Jared has to consider this.

After Jared and Richard leave, Carla throws down a $3,500 Dolce & Gabbana bag (Ha! D&G could also stand for “Dinesh & Gilfoyle”). Dinesh wonders whether Carla’s making more money than them, especially when she’s mentioned getting a new Mercedes. Gilfoyle just upright asks her: “How much are you making?”

“I get more equity here,” says Carla.

D&G are pissed and complain. Richard brings Carla in to talk to her about the complaints and she admits that she was just fucking with them. She used to do worse to them, usually involving gay porn, but after Richard’s sexual harassment speech, she figured that wouldn’t be OK here. Jared is pleased that the sexual harassment talk worked!

At the benefit, Erlich and Jian Yang show up with Russ’ tickets, but Russ didn’t pay for them. He only reserved them, meaning Erlich and Jian would have to pay $25,000 each in order to attend. In a scene that is sadly not shown, they end up going to Taco Bell, where Erlich cries in the parking lot.

Richard finally agrees to call Jared Patakian and tell him that it’s not going to work out, when he discovers that the cyborg did just what Erlich said he would: He accepted another position. Even worse, it’s with Russ Hanneman. Pied Piper’s own investor poached him!

Not only is Russ stealing developers, but he’s also wasting money. A truck shows up at HQ with useless promotional material.

“What event could this possibly be used at?” says Dinesh, holding up a foam finger with Pied Piper emblazoned across it.

What did you think of “The Lady”? Should they get rid of Russ? And which of the following is your favorite nickname for “Other Jared”: Retarded Frankenstein, AIDS Lady, or Effeminate K.D. Lang?

Sign In

Reset Your Password

Email Newsletter